The Whipped Topping Free Diet

So, I was looking for something to do and remembered that I am one of the 13 million people who have this handy thing called a blog!! 

I got my once yearly coffee the other day!!  It was glorious. Until I looked at the cup and discovered that the coffee-maker-man hadn't even given me whipped topping! Apparently he thought after putting fifteen million coffee beans I wouldn't notice the lack of white deliciousness. He was wrong.  I told my driver, mom, that I wanted whipped topping and this guy needed to make me a new coffee. Well, apparently that's not very polite. But she did ask for whipped topping and he said they were out.  So I told her to throw it back at him and give me a refund, because, I explained, McDonald's was cheaper and I'm sure they had whipped topping.  Then she drove away, forcing me to suffer in silence. Which, for me, means complain about it loudly and threaten a lawsuit.  Nobody was amused. Well, I was at least.

Me

                 So, this is the handy part where I tell you just exactly who it is your dealing with. I have a gluten intolerance, so if I see a cinnamon roll, you better run for it. It could get ugly. If I have a gun in my hand at that unfortunate moment, I'll shoot......the cinnamon roll. We kind of have a love-hate relationship going on. I eat it, it hurts me in return. 

I have the two most wonderful horses in the world, Rompe and Elvas. They don't care if I'm having a cinnamon roll issue, so long as I have a treat in my hand. They care. A lot. I just don't have visible proof of it yet. About the gun I mentioned, I know how to use it. I know what it can do. Don't worry about me winding up on the news. Unless someone gets between me and the cinnamon roll I don't want. Then, I make no promises. 

I learned about the gluten thing this Spring, so I'm still figuring out how to cope. When the homeopathic doctor guy told me, I got in the car and started laughing. And Crying. At the same time. Then, I started re-writing 80's songs to fit my Gluten withdrawals. I sang them, laughed and cried at the same time. Yeah, I'm talented like that. Do you know they put gluten in licorice? Like, the Red Vine kind? That was a huge blow. My mom said lots of people blog because it's like writing in a diary. I say it's a way of willingly allowing, and helping, people to stalk you, but whatever. So, here's my diary/stalk me post. I hope someone can profit somehow by something I wrote. If not, I amused myself. Have a great weekend!